You can meet a person with a difficult relationship in the past and a broken heart on a dating site. Although this relationship has already ended, a deep wound may remain in a person’s soul, which can be touched by new relationships too. Ladies find themselves in a particularly difficult situation if they find out from a conversation with a man that he is a widower.
Building a relationship with a widower can be very difficult, especially if the grief in a man’s life has happened recently. He may not have let his deceased wife go and is not ready for a new relationship. Long stories about a deceased wife can easily identify his unpreparedness for a new relationship. Such men need time, and a woman should not spend her resources on him.
Psychologists say that after a break in a relationship, a person temporarily plunges into frustration, and after the loss of a wife, this state can continue for a long time.
If a man is interested in a new relationship, communicating with him is no more difficult than any other man without a tragic past. Most likely, a woman will need not touch the past topic to bypass sharp corners. It is also important to understand that it takes a longer time to build a strong alliance with a widower. Below, we will tell you how to properly captivate a man you like, even if he is a widower.
Where to start
Life in a metropolis makes its own adjustments. Work, creative self-realization, and self-development. To be on time everywhere, you obviously need more than 24 hours a day. So, it is not surprising that many simply do not have time to organize their personal lives, and this problem is postponed until later. Moreover, it is not clear where to meet. Dating sites and apps come to the rescue, and the stories of widowed people who have found love on the Web are doubly motivating to sign up.
But is everything so rosy? Many people get frustrated with online dating, especially talking about a widower. What can you do to make this experience as pleasant as possible if for many, it is equated to leaving your own comfort zone? What to write in your profile and how to maintain a dialogue so that the acquaintance becomes successful?
How to compose a profile on a dating site for widowers
Make use of the following tips to be successful while dating a widower:
What photos to expose and how many
Photos are your business card. It is widely known that men love with their eyes and only then examine the inner world. Therefore, if a woman does not attract a man outwardly, he will not begin communicating with her. This is how instinct works because a beautiful and outwardly healthy woman is subconsciously associated with procreation. Therefore, when filling out a questionnaire, follow the tips for choosing a photo:
- For your profile on a site to look attractive, it must contain several good quality photos — 5-7 photos are enough.
- Photos must be fresh: no more than 6-10 months old.
- It is good if a questionnaire contains both professional and «live» photographs.
- Do not overload your pictures with filters and Photoshop so that they look natural.
- Take the main photo in which you are depicted with a sincere smile and open eyes.
What photos shouldn’t be used
There is an unspoken rule: what kind of photos you display in your profile, such men you attract into your life. Therefore, if you are looking for a long-term relationship on a site, then do not post pictures of a certain nature.
- Photos in which you are depicted in a swimsuit or in clothes that are too revealing and defiant.
- Photos in a company with other men and children are also better not to publish in your profile on a dating site — this may scare off potential applicants.
- Pictures with luxury goods and those made on expensive resorts can attract gigolos.
What you need to tell about yourself in a profile
You need to maximize, but at the same time, capaciously reveal the most attractive sides of your personality. The «About Me» section can be filled in according to certain rules.
- The text should be simple, concise, but at the same time, catchy.
- The first phrase is the most important: it can be a detail, an image, an emotion, an unusual fact about you.
- Information should not be trivial and boring.
- Add a dash of humor and intrigue.
Let’s give an example: «My name is Joan. In relationships, I do not like to complicate things. But this does not prevent me from loving exact sciences and appreciating simple truths. I am always in a good mood. Why? I will tell this secret when we meet…»
However, there are points where you should not get creative.
- So, it is better to indicate your full name: not Joan-Foam or Beautiful Princess, but just your full beautiful name.
- In the age column, you should also not fantasize – you do not need to start a relationship with deception. Write a real figure. After all, if you hide your age, it means that you do not accept yourself and experience complexes about this.
- The city also needs to be indicated real, although you can search everywhere.
- If there is a column about work, just indicate the field of activity.
- In the column «Purpose of acquaintance» write: communication and correspondence, committed relationship. This aspect is highly significant for mature singles and widowed ones.
One of the most popular questions: is it worth reporting the presence of children in a questionnaire? You should not hide your child: you can and should mention him or her in your profile. So, at the initial stage, you will weed out those who are not ready for a relationship with a woman with a child and save your time and nerves.
What should not be written in a questionnaire
You do not need to use boring cliches: responsible, kind, attentive, caring, the best, I cook well, lead an active lifestyle, and so on. This is a direct road to the warehouse of gray, unremarkable questionnaires. You can write all the same but more interesting and more specific! Your individuality and energy should be felt in the questionnaire, but not hackneyed platitudes. Refrain from aphorisms, quotes, or poetry, even if you really want to show off your erudition.
You do not need to write long texts where you list those moments that do not suit you or annoy you in people. Quite common phrases — not interested in married men or perverts — only repel normal men and show that you often have to deal with married men and perverts. Adequate men see only you being categorical, your requirements and restrictions in such questionnaires. Forget about the phrase «Surprise me…» You have no right to demand this from a widowed man: a confident man will not even read it and will pass by a questionnaire. Complaints and lamentations in the text are taboo. No man comes to a dating website for widowers to become a shoulder to cry on.
How to correspond correctly: tips for widowers
The fact that your profile has been chosen is not a guarantee that everything will turn out well: it is important to be able to maintain a conversation properly. In correspondence, it is important to show your individuality and character to interest the interlocutor. But keep in mind that several universal rules increase your chances of success.
- Do not wear a «mask»: communicate in a relaxed, light, open, and natural way. Try to create the feeling that you are old friends.
- Remember that open communication does not mean that you have to reveal all the private secrets and your grief at once. Leave the details of the biography, including the problems you have encountered for later (better for never).
- Try not to start communication with platitudes: «How are you?» or «I would be glad to meet you!» «So, how long are you single?» These phrases, when dating a widower are red flags. Better to start with a compliment or a question about what is interesting to your interlocutor. Study his photo, read the questionnaire. Compliments can be about appearance, style of clothing, an interesting page, hobbies.
- Be discreet with emoticons and punctuation marks. A lot of question and exclamation marks, an abundance of emoji in correspondence can be perceived as signs of an unstable psyche of an interlocutor.
- You should also be restrained in personal matters: always leave some understatement. You do not need to reveal all the cards immediately.
- Address your interlocutor with respect.
May a woman text a widower first?
A man is inherently a hunter: he must pursue a lady. But the rules of dating a widower over 50 online allow a woman to take the first step, and men react great to this. Write to him first and then slip away. And let him conquer you further. If a man reacted to your message, it is good. Proceed as we have discussed above. And if he did not answer, he may simply not be ready for a new relationship. What to do in this case? Look further, and never mind. It’s just not your soulmate.